I know it's been a while since I've written anything... but to be honest, it's been so difficult to do anything! Morning sickness has hit, and it's a real bummer... it's not as bad as many others have it, and I'm not throwing up THAT much, but I sure feel like I'm about to every other minute!!
On top of that I feel like I can smell every bad smell within a kilometer... and I've recently decided that my bedroom is the only room that doesn't have strange smells (it's also the room with the most openable windows). So each day I've been bringing in my laptop, a mini table, and all my books and setting up a work space here. >.<
All the books and websites advise people to eat dry foods like crackers often... but I am very much hating eating anything. Last night Ryan had to guilt me into taking my vitamin. (to the baby: I'm so sorry that I'm not eating much now, but I really am trying hard!)
I was reading yesterday that in this stage of pregnancy I really have control over nothing... not over how I feel, what I can or can't eat, if I can keep food down, how I act (or overreact!), or what my mood will be... and that it should be a blessing! What?!? you may ask... but it's in these times that we have no control over how we feel or over the development of a little one that we already love so much, and only then can we fully lean on our Father to be our support and provider.
I desperately worry that things won't go well, but I know that through whatever circumstances that I will be thankful for God's leading in my life, knowing that in all things He gives me strength and that He works for the good of those who love Him. Which means that good days and bad, He has a plan for me. So I will keep rejoicing in Him and trusting in His plans...
And this is yet another time that God continues to teach me patience and trust. I wonder if it will ever stop being so hard for me....
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